Rephiir of Tara

 2:36 That takes me back - meeting friends at over-crowded bars where you can barely hear each other 5:26 Okay, So Carrie gets to the club and receives a phone message from Big saying he's not gonna be able to meet her there. She goes in and meets a cute 20-something guy and so chats him up a bit, touching his tongue in a gregrious cheeky manner. Then Big shows up  She thought the message said he wasn't coming. He thought he said he'd make it for an hour. Carrie says 'Well yeah, but then you said that...' - So it appears that she heard his message as he perceived it, and she gave it spin that meant 'he's not showing up at all'.  Judgement - This is on her.  8:48 Are men in their 20s the new designer drug? Whaaaaaat? 11:27 Carrie is notoriously late. Here someone rings her, she chooses to answer it despite being moments from leaving, before they can speak says something like ' yeah whoever this is I can't talk I'm late for a drink thing' ....

2:30 Yeah that WAS super awkward. Who are these people - Who just goes around without their pants on. Carrie didn't understand why she was so upset? What? Again, Carrie displays no empathy - she cannot put herself in her friends' shoes.  4:40 They do raise a good point. Coupled up people seem to tend to hang out with other coupled friends. Single people listen up, only befriend other people who are single or who seem unlikely to fall in love. That's terrible lol 5:30 Ooh I like Stanfords hat. 6:40 Wow. These gay dudes went from 'Carrie is not married' to 'She is an eligible egg donor for our surrogate baby' in an INSANE amount of time. 6:47 YOU'LL PAY??? . Nah nah nah, SHE'LL PAY - when she has to go through hormone treatments and horrible invasive surgical procedures for you. Nope. Big Nope. They barely know her, these guys are fkn weird. 7:02 Stanford ripping up their number is so on point 7:30 OMG That was Bob from Bobs Burgers!!! 8:30 I wonder wh...

8:50 This show didn't age well. In this episode, Carrie finds out a friend of hers has been secretly filming female models for an 'art installation', while he has sex with them. She asks if the models know they were being filmed and he says 'Maybe...'. Carrie sees no problem with this. Instead of recoiling with empathetic disgust, her response is "Do you have a light?" (for a cigarette) and she smiles, watching the sex videos with him :O 15:50 Carrie does warn Samantha about the sex-filming that her 'friend' does, which at least shows that she has a conscience when it comes to her friends potentially being filmed without their consent. 19:55 Samantha WANTS to be filmed, which is fine, as she's consenting to it. Although If i was her, I wouldn't stare at the camera. 21:30 Wow, this guy is 34? I thought he was 40 at least. Age is hard to tell. 22:00 Yeah that's good advice, and true. You wanna be with the one who makes you laugh. 23:00 T...

 I realised today, after thinking about having an inferiority complex, that I need to start saying to myself "In order to find romantic love, I need to look how i look right now' instead of 'in order to find romantic love, I need to lose 20Kg'. 

Rephiir of Tara is someone who: Takes time out of his day to focus on: Meditation (Guided) Relaxation Flexibility Dance Reading Shaving head/beard Flosses and brushes twice daily Household chores Light exercise Getting to bed and sleep, at a reasonable time Creates drawings and paintings Studies food science Studies psychology - Esp relationships and communication Makes time per week for friendships who really matter Keeps boundaries and sticks to them for his best health Currently my weekdays consist of: Wake up Masturbate Work Lunch Work Watch youtube Cook Shop for food Eat junk food Surf the web Weekends are basically as above, except for work, and also seeing friends, family and cycling.

 I was just watching a video from the show 'My 600lb life'. It strikes me that there's a common occurrence of these people having gone through sexual trauma in their childhood. I was sexually assaulted the first time I had penetrative sex with another man, he being the insertional partner. From then, I gained weight, and it's been a struggle to not associate my appearance with being 'protected' from sexual assault again.  My assault was a one time thing, although I had to wait 6 months for a HIV test to come back - thankfully negative - but I empathise with these people who were mistreated. Especially as kids - at a time in their lives when they don't have the capacity to communicate properly to those around them a) that they're in a bad situation and b) how it's making them feel. Expression and Communication are two themes that hold steady in my life. I don't tell people what I need enough. Take this weekend for example. A friend of mine came up...

 Aimia and Steve set off along Rowan Street, heading towards town. Steve noted that he and Aimia shared the exact same pace. He couldn't tell if she was matching him, or vice versa. "So, where does your closes friend live?" Steve asked "My closest friend would be Kelly, she lives two streets down, with her two kids, I know her through work and she and I have been mates for about two years. We don't catch up all the time, but when we do we have a great chat" "Ah cool". Steve replied. "Where do you work?" "At the local council. I've been working there for about 4 years now. I used to live in Brisbane but I moved back home to be near mum and dad. Thought - why not enjoy the time with them while they're still young enough to have fun and stuff" "Cool. You said you moved back four years ago?" Steve asked "Yeah, why, does that ring a bell with you?" "I dunno..." Steve said "I can't quite ...

 When Aimia got back to her house, the strangest thing happened. She went to put her key into the key hole and it wouldn't fit. She tried several times and nothing happened. She surmised that her key must be broken.  Feeling frustrated, she wandered over to her side-gate and felt for the manual lock on the other side, pushed it open and walked through. She kept a spare key buried in her garden, so she'd have to dig it up and use it. The other key must be broken somehow.  As she walked past her back window, she jumped, noticing someone was inside her house. The person inside jumped too, and walked over to the sliding door, opening it and saying to her "Who are you? What are you doing here?" Aimia looked at the man in her house, incredulous that he thought this was his property and said back "I live here, this is my house". The man in the doorway looked at her with a genuinely puzzled expression and said "That makes no sense, I've been living here for...

>> I knew a man once<< Cyllenius_of_Zion He ascended the heavens upon feet of rock from heart spun of gold. My fire and his earth forming molten clay. We strode the path together, entwined in physicality. Our minds and hearts were invested and out emotions were one. Dancing through the stars grew tiresome and we rested ourselves against the fires of the water. Tides of rock, like icebergs, drifted us apart. The mystic lifted the veil and our emotions separated. Now Cyllenius of Zion and Rephiir of Tara are separate journey takers. Rephiir among the crystals of earth, Cyllenius among the fires of wisdom. Rephiir wishes to look into the cosmic mirror and see Cyllenius at times. Cyllenius, if you're out there. I always love you and will always hope for your best destiny.